Advice for newborn/expecting moms, I wish someone had given me

I hope you’re having a great day.

In my post today, first and foremost, I’d like to say that you all are super-women, performing the toughest & most amazing role the human body is capable of performing. You’re absolutely wonderful because you didn’t give priority to your bodies, careers or whatever not, for these few months or even years, during which you would take rebirth too but would still concentrate on selflessly providing all that you have, to your baby and its upbringing. Whoever said it’s going to be easy, is absolutely crazy or lying.

Now alongside, I’d like to give you all a reality check. Birthing, in itself is a bittersweet experience. On one hand, you would feel like you’re on your death bed ( we all have known how much pain a mother goes through while she is in labor) and on the other, nothing would have ever given you more joy in life, so much that since the time the moment the baby comes out, there is nothing more important for you anymore.

However, like they say, birthing is easy but there is no epidural for motherhood. My main aim of writing this is because before I had a baby, my family had painted a rosy picture for me. Where I would beautifully get pregnant 🤰, give birth and hand over the baby to the grandmothers to look after and wipe its bum and again be happily ever after with the hubby, go on solo trips and nights-out, just like before. I have forever been told (like in stereotypical indian families) that the grand-moms will handle everything. Not that I completely fell for it but well I was somewhere in the middle of believing and not believing it. A family is great support but bringing up a child is a mammoth task mainly the mother has to perform.

However, I’d not paint the same picture for you guys but a true-er version of it.No one, but you will have to handle the baby. Neither will you want to trust anyone completely in doing so.

  1. No one but you will have to wipe off the shit off the baby bum. No matter how much you try to run from it, eventually you’ll be the only one doing it. Accept the fact early.
  2. The hubby can only to an extent support you. If he has to commence working he needs his night’s sleep. That would just leave the two of you (you and your baby). No one will give up on their sleep schedules. You will have to work out how you manage to sneak in your naps by coordinating it with the baby’s.
  3. The baby will not sleep at nights or whenever you want them to sleep for the first few days. You have to show patience. You have to learn to survive on minimal sleeping hours. The baby is going to wake up/ make weird sounds, the moment you sleep for a minute. The baby will demand a nappy change and feed every 2 hrs even at nights. They need approximately 2 months, to adjust their biological clock according to the world’s.
  4. You would have to manage the baby despite of your sickness, stitches, ill-feeling, fatigue and whatever not. You must eat well and healthy to gather energy for doing so.
  5. People will be less understanding of your situation owing to the fact that the whole world is having babies and you’re not the only one, however; to you it would feel like you’re the most extraordinary human who has given birth to and is raising a baby. You do not want to explain your situation to the world. Conserve that energy to manage the baby.
  6. You might get into post-partum depression. It is common. I have gone through it. It is usually about how strongly you come out of it. Try to deliberately avoid the negative feeling. Use a poster in your room or anything else that reminds you to stay positive and calm and most of all to have patience as this too shall pass.
  7. At one point, you would hate everyone over the most petty issues. I hated my hubby for going out for lunch with his friends when I couldn’t 🤔.
  8. Do not have any expectations from anyone. If you’re having a baby thinking you’re going to hire a doula or because your hubby is super supportive, believe me you, no one can be the mother to a child. No matter what. The more you expect someone to help you the more you will get depressed about them not living upto your expectations. You obviously need help, ask for it but don’t expect someone to read your mind.
  9. You will keep getting criticised for why you’re not losing your pregnancy weight or how wrongly you’re handling your child from unnecessary and insensible people. You have to choose how you have to deal with those individuals and your body. Remember, you’re the boss. You’re the one in charge of yourself and your baby.
  10. You will keep getting forced advice from people who had a baby in 1937 and don’t remember a thing about bringing up a baby except from the old wives tales. You have to filter whom to listen to and what.
  11. You might not get so much “me-time” initially. It will obviously get better with time and you will be able to get back to your routine. Keep your aims and determination strong. Gradually start sneaking in time for yourself.

In the end I’d like to mention that everything will get sorted in a few months. You will become a pro with the baby. There will be nothing you will cherish more than the moments you spend with your baby. There would be no one who has ever loved you or whom you have ever loved more than the tiny human you made. There will come a point where you would even want to relive this stage. That’s how life evolves.Stay wonderful ladies.Xximage source: http://www.30seconds.com

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Love thy Surroundings + Pass-on the word

I was so impressed when he ran with excitement to touch and recognised few birds I had taught him from the book. There is no better knowledge you can impart into these tiny minds than the love for nature. Like most babies, he is so amused by trees and dogs and pigeons and parrots and I couldn’t be happier. I just don’t want this love to die with his discovery of i-pads and video games.

My heart aches when I realise how he will never we able to witness the ‘house -sparrow’ and several other animals and birds that are slowly depleting from our states, countries and eventually even the earth. What a common and beautiful sight the sparrow was when I was a kids and slowly how we got so busy in our lives we didn’t realise where it disappeared.

I want to incorporate into him the idea of making Nature an integral part of his life. We must, from the very beginning explain to our kids how crucial and wonderful the natural surroundings are and teach them to do their bit in conserving it.

“DO YOUR BIT, PARENTS AND TEACH THE YOUNG GENS TO DO THEIRS, AS THEIR DUTY AND OUT OF LOVE”

5 Exciting games for Kids’ Birthday Parties

1. Fire in the mountain: Players run in a circle until the leader keeps saying fire in the mountain, run, run, run. In the end the leader says a number in which the players have to group. Whoever doesn’t end up in a group of the said number of players is out.

 

2. Simon says: The players have to perform a task the leader gives after saying ‘Simon says’ (eg. dance, stand on one leg etc) but not perform the task if he says it without saying Simon says before announcing the task. If any player performs the task without the leader saying Simon says he/ she is out.

 

3. Name Housie: Kids write their names on a piece of paper. The leader calls out random letters of the alphabet and the players keep cancelling out the announced letters out of their names. Whoever gets all their letters cancelled, keeps getting out of the game. The last player remaining wins.

 

4. Musical Statue-Over: The leader keeps playing music on and off and the players have to dance on the music. While the music is off the players have to be on statue mode. Whoever moves is out. Players who keep getting out can try to make the players laugh or move by performing funny acts.

 

5. Charades: Make folded slips with general words like airplane, watch, table etc. In two teams each player will be given 1 minute to enact the maximum number of slips for their teams to guess the right word. Whichever team guesses the maximum correct words wins. You would have to make many slips and this game goes on very rapidly.

10 Iron Boosting foods for Kids

 

Recently, my paediatrician brought into my notice that our kids could possibly be dealing with IRON DEFICIENCY and that Anaemia is very common amongst kids.

 

Although, we try our best to provide a healthy meal to our kids but sometimes it ends up not being a balanced meal. Iron is a very important element for a child’s proper and steady growth.

 

So we must make sure we supplement our kid’s diet with some of these foods everyday.

Pregnancy weight + How to deal with it

I was always aware of the fact that pregnancy would alter my body completely. The cause of my worry was that I had seen women who have never been able to shed their pregnancy weight or like they say, ‘bounce back’.

Pregnancy also hit me quite hard. I wasn’t one of the lucky lot who gains 7-9 beautiful kilos only in their belly. I was one of the others, who by the end of their pregnancy look like a ballon ready to pop, or a whale, or a bear- you probably do get the point by now. If not, let me tell you, I gained 24 kilos, all over my body.

Such is the irony that women face, on one side is the most wonderful blessing god bestows upon you and on the other you are traumatised by letting go the physical treasures you have embraced your entire life. I also thought that there was no going back. I was sure I wasn’t gonna lose more than 5 kilos apart from the baby+placenta weight once the baby pops and that’s how I was gonna look for the rest of my life.

From adoring yourself in the mirrors to just avoiding every mirror that came in my sight to avoid getting into depression was how my last trimester passed.

I packed all the fancy outfits I had and shoved them in a closet in our basement.

To my amusement, just after giving birth I lost 10 kilos, which left me with being 14 kilos above my pre pregnancy weight. By this time, I had a baby to take care of and feed, I had given up on thinking about how I’m getting to my pre pregnancy jeans because the baby needed me more than I needed to get into those jeans.

The entire 16 months I spent feeding the baby, there was no noticeable change in my body. I joined aerobics and worked out but could only reduce 4 or 5 odd kilos due to being inconsistent.

It was after I weaned off the baby that I stopped feeling the need to hog on food. The baby didn’t demand for me to be around so much, so I could freely concentrate on working out. He started to walk having me running behind him all the time to which also I credit my loss of inches. Few months later, when people started to ask me what I did to lose so much weight and look like before, I realised I actually had lost a lot. I pulled out the coffins from the basement, and believe me you, I could fit into 90 percent of my pre baby clothes. I’m still 2 kilos over my pre-pregnancy weight but I’m sure I’ll get rid of this too.

Let me put it this way to make it simple:

  • You can only control to an extent, how much weight you gain during your pregnancy. You do not have full control over it because we all have a different body type. So try keeping a check to avoid gaining empty calories but do not let it stress you out. We can always get back. Eat healthy as much as you can it will help you a lot in losing weight and getting a healthy body later on.
  • When the baby is out, for the first 6 months stress most about its well being and your health rather than the need of bouncing back. You have your entire life to do that but the baby needs you most during this time.
  • Feed the baby- it helps you lose weight quicker, even if it is at a later stage. New age moms think that feeding will make their body sag and also that they can’t be more free to get back in shape and for other activities. This is the wrong-est thing you can do to yourself and the baby. Feeding the baby is wonderful for your body (discussed in another post) and for the baby. The only reason why we sometimes don’t lose as much weight while feeding is because to produce milk, fats get stored in the mothers body hence we get rid of this fat when we wean off the baby.
  • Stay calm and work out as much as you can. Even if you can jump rope for 15 mins a day or jog for half an hour, yoga, aerobics, jumping jacks sets in the room, whatever little you can afford to do. This keeps you active and in routine. It also reminds you that you can’t stay in a body like this for too long so don’t get habitual of it.
  • Don’t make unrealistic goals. Go on your own pace. Losing 1 healthy kilo a month is better than losing 5 unhealthy kilos. Set your pace and stick to it.
  • NEVER GIVE UP AND ACCEPT A BAD BODY for the rest of your life.

I believe most of us have to go through this phase of life but how we balance ourselves as strong women and manage to conquer this situation our way is what makes us wonderful.

Stay happy and determined and you can do wonders with yourselves.

Image source: TheBump

Stress on Me-Time, mommies

 

Totally crushing over Kiko Milano these days.

There is absolutely no time to get to the salon today and my hands and feet need a desperate makeover.

Guess I’ll have to be doing my own little mani+pedi 💅 to look decent today. I’m definitely not a procrastinator.

For days like these, I have the Kilo Milano Hand and Feet scrub and creams set along with it’s nail paint fixer.

This set is close to my heart since it was gifted to me by my mom in law on daughter’s day.

I think it is such a cute and thoughtful present for a mom of a toddler boy. I guess she does realise I don’t visit the salon as much as I used to, when I wasn’t a mom.

 

I hope my little munchkin continues to nap through this much needed process though!!

5 Phrases to NEVER use with your kids

Why and how our kids turn out to be rebellious and disturbed or happy and positive is often not clearly understood by many of us. We call this human characteristics/nature, that shape with age. Which is partially true. Our kids do have a personality that is usually the gift of nature; however, a great role of how our kids shape up as individuals also depends on our behaviour towards them.

In this post I have listed down few phrases to never use with kids. Sometimes our words leave our little ones scarred for life. We must make sure we avoid using these or similar phrases at all times.

I too get angry with my child many times, we have all been scolded by our parents, it is natural, but by making such statements we can lead to much worse consequences. So, I make it a point to always weigh the my words. Anger must always be displayed very carefully as kids fail to understand what we really imply.

Stay peaceful and bring up beautiful individuals!